But, Jesus didn't come through

He always came through. Or, maybe, we should say He almost – key word: almost – always came through. Although, for her, she would rather we remove the ‘almost’ because, well, that word never counts.

So, He always came through.

She says that, throughout her life, He has been coming through. Sometimes, four days late yet still on time – like that time the good book says He had to resurrect Lazarus.

Her journey, especially from the University, has been punctuated by His timely showing up.

The other time, He showed up at noon.

The previous night, a timid and excited student happy that she was about to finish her first year, she had gone out with friends. It was her first time going out. It was her first time drinking.

She blacked out. Or, rather, went into a quiet dark sleep. She does not remember what happened. But, nothing bad happened. At least, not that evening. If anything, it nearly happened during the day. That time she woke up with a headache.

The moment she opened the curtains, an afternoon sun welcomed her. She rushed to the phone, it was noon. She had an exam in the next hour.

She had to quickly skim through notes while washing up her face.

In minutes, she was at the exam. Late, with a few forgivable minutes.

“That was to be the only exam for that course, if I had missed it, who knows?”

To her, that waking up – almost in time – was the work of Jesus.

A little background of her and Jesus:

The two had been together, close friends, from Secondary School. Someday, at some retreat where she had gone more for the adventure of it than the actual reason of having to hear sermons, there had been a woman who had preached a powerful sermon. She says that when the woman finished there was little she could do than go to the front with the others ‘to receive Jesus’.

There was another blackout there except, unlike the later one, this was by the Holy Spirit.

When she came to, she felt peace. A new life had been formed in her.

Back at School, she changed: friends, lifestyle and even a desk spot. She was a new creation. Little wonder, she was selected to the University.

In her first week, she had her major temptation. The devil struck.

Her faith, like her age, was young. And weak. She was not Job. She fell apart. That loss, of her father, marked her descent into chaos.

“I slipped. I did not really fall. I just slipped. I was not active in Church affairs. Never prayed before eating. Never prayed before sleeping. I prayed when I had to.”

The Bible, those of us who know it, that epistle of Paul to the Church in Corinthians. The first one. Chapter 10. Verse 13.

A scholarship offer came through. It offered more than what her father could have afforded. Her faith, then, was restored. Perhaps, it was also the first time that Jesus came through – for real.

Throughout College, save for that time she slipped by drinking and going into the devil’s den in the secret of the night, she stood firm in faith. That faith, that holding on, saw her through to completion. And graduation. With a degree that had a surname.

At the graduation, her family came. There were smiles – enough to brighten all the sad billboards in Blantyre. The only smile absent was hers.

She is one who looks at the world with her own lens. She appreciates other viewpoints but does not let them define the world for her.

“I am one who had wanted to be married from as long as I can remember,” she says. “The moment I was sure I had finished school, the next thing on my mind was marriage.”

And, she had been praying for a partner even before she sat her last exam.

But, partners were not coming. Or, they were coming but somehow did not speak to her soul. They could not be God’s answer to her long held prayer.

A Christian woman, she was not about to end in bed with anyone. So, she kept curving them when they came. Until age caught up with her. And, only one was there for her.

He was not a Christian like her. He was just a human. With a good heart. They had shared a few modules at ‘varsity.

Someday, at a Shopping Centre, they had met. Had he ever seen her somewhere? She had responded in the positive. Reminded him of ‘varsity. He made a half apology and started to catch up in some way.

The next day, there was a visitor for her at the reception. At lunch. It was him.

Did she mind going to lunch with him? She said she did not.

It was a common lunch date that led to something. After a time, they started exchanging visits. In one of those moments, the desires of the flesh overpowered. She ended up pregnant.

He said he wanted to marry her but did not want a Church wedding. He just wanted to meet with her family and take her in.

This time around, He did not come through. She succumbed to that temptation. In one starless night, she put a ring on her finger in front of her mother and other family members. She started a new life – in sin – as his wife.

“Do you regret?”

“Marrying him? No. I just wish we had done it differently.”

She still goes to Church, with her child, hoping that someday he will join them and ask for a Church wedding. Then, she will say that even him was Jesus coming through.    

This entry appears in my column of Friday, 20 September, in The Daily Times.