Sometimes, they're heavy

She woke up one day to a ring on her finger: engaged.

On Facebook, unknown to her, there were people fawning. And falling over themselves. Heavy with congratulatory messages. He had tagged her in a post: engaged to...

Her WhatsApp was full, and overflowing, with messages. When she opened that app, she was welcomed by a group. Her friends had apparently formed that group to plan her wedding.

She says it was crazy – that morning.

Just below that group were messages from all over. They were all congratulating her. A few asked when the big day would be.

Him. The conversation with him. It laid at the unimportant bottom. Like a pile of forgotten emotions. The last message from him was sent the previous night. It was one word: ‘whatever’.

But, we will come to that later. For now, the engagement.

It was her birthday. He had ignored her for the whole day (spoiler: most guys do not actually forget the birthday, they pretend! When your man – applicable to boyfriends only – acts all forgetful about your birthday, just know he is planning something huge. Maybe a proposal!).

In the evening, he sent a curt text:

“Happy birthday bae, I love you. Sorry, it has been a hectic day. I will make it up to you.”

She did not know how to respond to that. Instead, she screenshot it and sent it to her bestie. The bestie replied with those emoji.

She recorded a vn.

The bestie replied with another vn:

“Ignore him. Do not respond. If he calls, do not pick. I will spoil you on his behalf. Get ready babe girl. I am coming for you at 7.”

Half an hour before 7, she was ready. Well-bathed. Ready to take over the town. She arrived with her other two besties.

“Did he call?” the bestie.

“Of course. And I ignored. He texted, ignored again.”

“What did he text this time around?”

She showed the bestie. They laughed – that laughter you girls do when you have to deride that man who keeps pursuing yet you are not interested in; or, maybe, that laughter you girls do to the men you end up marrying.

In minutes, they were on the road. She did not know where they were going. The bestie told her not to worry, she had everything figured out. She was to have the night of her life.

They ended up at a hotel entrance. She thought they would be making way to some small corner in a restaurant of the hotel. Instead, they headed to a conference room. When the door opened, there was a party going. The words wishing her a happy birthday were clear.

She shed a few tears – or more actually. She had her face in her palms, soaking her make-up. She did not see that person who had come to hug her. But, she knew his scent. It was him.

She collapsed into his arms, as any girl would do.

Around them, the music died and it was the people who were singing: happy birthday *insert any female name*

The moment she recollected herself, he went on his knees. She knew what was to come. Everyone knew what was to come. Tears were still in her eyes. She still thinks she saw some tears in the edges of his eyes.

She gave her hand, willingly, he slid the ring. They were engaged.

Then, everything went in a haze. In the night, they separated – to mingle.

He texted her, asking her if she liked the ring. Did she know it was an actual diamond forming a part of it? He added.

It was her night, although hijacked by him, and her world was basically there, she did not really think of having to check her phone. When she did, it was after an hour. She texted back that she liked it.

“Is there really a diamond?” she asked, then those red heart emoji.

He replied promptly, with one word: ‘Whatever’.

She did not read that word. She read the anger, the fury and the annoyance. She knew it too well. Her night was ruined.

After that party, he drove her home. It was a quiet ride. She tried to stir a conversation. But, a stone would certainly have made a better companion. Even at parting, he did not seem to acknowledge her farewell.

“Text me when you arrive,” she said, to the boot of the car disappearing in her view.

After an hour with no text, she called. No response. She did that four times. Same outcome.

She typed a message on WhatsApp but later decided against it: it was a marriage they were heading to – a lifetime, at least by her standards – and should not therefore enable him. She just switched off the sounds on her phone, rolled over, and slept. But, a few tears rolled down her cheeks before that sleep.

In the morning, it was the ring that reminded her of the previous night. No, it was not by its weight. Those things are not literally heavy for those of you who do not know. It was maybe the glitter in that diamond part.

When she opened WhatsApp, it was that flood of messages that nearly drowned her. All of them fawning.

Then, there was one by her aunt. She is, technically, her mother. She raised her, and her siblings, after taking them from the village.

That message came with an image. It was a screenshot from her Facebook wall. It showed that he had highlighted they were engaged.

A message accompanied:

“Tell us the date in good time, we have to plan accordingly. Can’t afford to not outshine everyone there.”

This is a column entry for Friday, 27 September 2019, in The Daily Times